Percy? Drunk? HA!
by Pandora Sylph
Summary: Two BASILISKS challenge entries rolled up in one. Drunken madness at The Three Broomsticks. Percy's drunk. Somthing runs down someone's leg. I think it's funny. And I really don't care if you do! ;-)


Summer holidays had come for Hogwarts students. Actually, they were halfway over. But for our well-known hero, Harry Potter, they were just beginning. Harry, being the moody, argumentative 17-year-old male he was, had had a huge fight with his rather unpleasant legal guardians, the Dursleys. After this previously mentioned fight, Harry had packed his things and run away, straight to Hogsmeade. He had been living there quite happily for a few weeks now, and he was rather... bored. As Harry sat at his rickety table in the tiny, cheap flat kitchen, he decided to call up his good friend, Ron. He made his way to the fireplace and threw some fine powder into the flames. "Ron Weasley," he clearly stated. A few seconds later, Ron's head appeared , seemingly floating in the now green flames. "Harry! What a suprise! How's life on your own treating you?" Harry shook his head. "Not as well as I had hoped. I'm bored out of my mind!" Ron frowned, thinking. It looked very painful. "I wish I could do something..." Harry's face brightened dramatically.. "I know! Why don't you and your brothers floo over here and we can get some drinks from the Three Broomsticks?" "All of them?" "If you want. Whoever's around and wants to come." Ron smiled. "All right, I'll be there in ten minutes." Nine minutes and fifty-five seconds later, Ron stepped through the fireplace and into Harry's flat. "You're early," pointed out Harry. "Ha. Everyone's a comedian these days," Replied Ron, smiling all the same. Harry turned back to the fireplace as two more figure came through. It was Fred and... "Percy?! I didn't expect you to be the drinking sort..." Percy shifted his weight back and forth in discomfort. "Mum told me to come and watch over you three. Keep you out of trouble." Harry thought about this. It was just like Mrs. Weasley to worry about them like this. "All right then, are you ready to go down there? The Three Broomsticks is a block away." There was a hearty round of "Sure, why not"s from all and they made their way down the street. Ron walked on Harry's left, Fred to his right, and Percy trailed behind, sulking. Harry was talking to Fred. "So, where's your ever-present twin on this fine day? It's not like him to pass up on this..." Fred grinned a little. "Oh, he's still getting hell about his OWLs. He did horribly. Ha! That's what he gets for snogging when he should have been studying." The four entered the Three Broomsticks, which was unusually packed. Hanging on the back wall was a sign that read "FREE RED CHEESE WITH EVERY PINA COLADA!" Ron read it in awe. "Oh! I'm *sooo* there!" They sat at a table and Madame Rosemerta came over. "hey, what can I get you today?" Harry ordered first. "A pina colada, without the red cheese." Ron was outraged. "Harry! Why'd you go and do that?!? I'd take your cheese! Never *ever* do that again!" Fred did the same, just to piss off Ron. Next it was Percy's turn. "I'll just have a water, please." Fred slapped him on the back. "Come on Percy! Live a little!" Percy sighed, giving up. "Fine, I'll have a beer then. Fred smiled, accomplished. "That's more like it. You shouldn't be such a prick all the time." He nodded. Finally it was Ron's turn. "I'll take a pina colada, *wiith* the red cheese, thank-you-very-much." Madame Rosemerta nodded and went off to get their drinks and cheese. They chit-chatted for a while before she came back with their pina coladas and beer. She set them down and then turned to Ron and said, "Sorry, hun, but we're all out of red cheese." Ron's face became as red as his hair. "Out of cheese?! Out of cheese?! How dare you spread lies about your 'Free Cheese'? Lies I tell you! LIES!!! I'll take this straight to the top of the chain. Harry, what's the top of the chain?" "Uh," said Harry, "the Minister?" "Right! The Minister! If I don't get my red cheese... I'll... I'll... AHHHHH!!!!!" Ron collapsed, panting. Madame Rosemerta sighed. "Look, I can get you some regular yellow cheese, but that's the best I can do." "OK," Said Ron, rather pleased with himself. During Ron's rant, the whole bar had fallen silent. Slowly, talking started again and three figures made their way over while Ron happily munched his cheese. "Ron Weasley! What was that all about?" All head turned and Ron jumped up, putting the speaker in a headlock. "Seamus, you old dog! How are you doing? I just wanted some cheese around here." Seamus laughed. "I'm fine. And I understand your problem. Cheese is well worth fighting for. These are my friends from home," He said, gesturing to his two partners. "This is Jeff Pearson, my neighbor since I was eight years old." Jeff shook hands all around. He seemed pleasant enough. Seamus continued. "And this is Rich, with a silent 'P'." The three friends laughed, but stopped, seeing neither Harry nor any of the Weasleys doing so. "Haven't you ever watched "The Young Ones" on the muggle telly? The four of them shook their heads. "Well... your loss then." Seamus began to laugh again, but his attention was diverted and he suddenly stopped. He poked Jeff in the side and pointed to a girl that had just entered. Rick watched her move across the room, and stated what was on all three's minds... "Hottness... hottness... hottness..." All of them walked off without a backwards glance and conveniently out of the story. Percy looked around the table. "Well, that was interesting... to say the least." Harry, Ron, and Fred nodded in silence. Then, breaking from his trance, Harry proposed a toast. "To friendship!" Everyone chorused, "To friendship." Ron added, "And cheese!!" They all laughed, downing their drinks and ordering more. The group was having a great time, the best all had had in a while. After a few beers, Percy began to loosen up, and was very un-prickish. In fact, he was rather drunk. They all were, not to mention many of the people around them Finally, the alcohol got to Percy. In the middle of the slurred conversation, he randomly jumped up on the table and yelled at the top of his lungs, "I am Tundar! King of Big-Tall-Pointy Mountain!" The he jumped down and punched the nearest drunk across the face. Of course, the man was hardly moved by the weak hit, and responded by pouring his pina colada over Percy's head. Percy yelped and ran for the bathroom, but, unfortunately, it was locked. He beat on the door, yelling, "Lemmee iiiiin, it's dripping down my leeeeeg!!!" Everyone was laughing, especially Harry, Ron, and Fred. "Fred got up on the table, and yelled across the room, much like his brother, "Everybody sing with me!! If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain..." He continued singing and started dancing, oblivious to everything else. what he didn't know was that no one else was singing, just staring in silence. By the time he did notice, he had made a complete and total git of himself. He smiled sheepishly and climbed off the table, asking Harry and Ron if they could go. On their way out, they gathered up Percy, who was still beating on the door. "But," He whimpered, "It's cold and it's dripping down my leeeeeg!" "Well, you can clean it up at Harry's," said Ron. Harry looked at the three. "Why don't you stay here tonight so your mum won't kill me?" Percy laughed. "Silly goose. Why would she do that?" "Hmm... I don't know... maybe for sending home three of her boys while they were giggling drunks?! Especially you, because you were supposed to be in charge." He pointed out. And that's exactly what they were. They all got back to the flat. Harry passing out on his bed, Ron on the couch, Fred in the Lay-Z-Boy, and Percy falling over unconscious in the middle of the floor. When they woke up at noon the next day, all with major hangovers, Percy said, "Remind me to *never ever* do that again!!!' 


End file.
